Bondage

This does get explicit towards the end

I like being tied up. Now I’ve posted before about not being vanilla but until recently I wouldn’t have described myself as particularly kinky. However, something someone said about sex got me thinking.

Is it vanilla sex when you just jump on each other, do it and then that’s it? Because if so then I go through occaisional overly libidinous vanilla periods but in general couldn’t be described as vanilla. I’m exploring a few new sexual concepts at the moment but I’m also trying to explain what I’m calling ‘complete sexuality’. I’ll leave my fascination with Annie Sprinkle and her ability to get to where I’m going before I do for now.

Complete sexuality embraces all the parts of me that make-up my sexual identity. It’s not only the parts of me that are obviously sexual, such as the dyke who feels comfortable in the lesbian community, the girl who passes for straight because she’s sleeping with two men at the moment, the letch who can’t stop herself from making the obvious comment even though people are looking at her sideways.

I like being tied up.

Now often I like to be tied up and then had sex with, and as a submissive I use that phrase advisedly. But the fact remains that I like to be tied up. One of the best memories I have involving Blue Eyes is of being in the mostly uninhabited ex-boarding house and of his binding my wrists with sellotape – no kissing, a lot of flirting/power play and nothing else…then of the damned bell going and him suddenly squeaking and dashing off – the sudden squeaking being the most disappointing moment for me.

I and the Jellicle have had the odd rope party (and those of you at Dark Side in January may have seen me tied into a rope corset) and usually I am all too eager to be tied up, but I don’t especially want to have sex with all or maybe any of the participants (well, obviously the Jellicle). There is a charge, a frission from being tied up that is certainly to do with and connected to sex certainly but if I describe it as sexual then people will assume I just want to take part in some penis-in-vagina standard orgy.

I have always had a very broad definition of what sex actually is, I suspect this probably stems from having lesbian sex before I encountered (what for me will always be the very male notion of) penetration. Having something actually inside my vagina doesn’t, for me automatically connect up as being sex, perhaps that’s a fault with my understandings, but for me sex remains the feeling that connects between two or more people. (I’ll ignore masturbation for now).
I don’t think that this a lesbian thing, I don’t even think it’s a female thing although I’m also thinking a lot these days about what female sexuality is and how it does differ from male, though that way leads to stereotyping which is a difficulty in and of itself.

I suppose the easiest way of putting this would be that being tied up, being pinned down, being restrained turns me on – but that carries implications that I want to go further, or to continue the process to orgasm and that’s not necessarily true. I like being tied up. I like being tied up in a sexual way. But that’s it, I enjoy the sexual frission and charge, I don’t need to have sex afterwards.

I think that for me, that’s where the line between vanilla and kinky has always been said to be, I could be wrong it’s true but I’m pretty sure I’m kinked this way.

I like being tied up.
Any takers?