I loved turning thirty. I found that I finally had a sense of being an adult whilst feeling capable. Right now, I feel old, it’s not so much the numbers on the cards it’s more the being ill. I’m tired all the time and I ache and simple things are really hard. I feel old but actually it’s the illness not the age.
I pretty much hate it. There is so little I can do about it and it feels utterly infuriating, it feels like I’m in some way destroyed. To continue being myself but being unable to move properly and all those things that I found so easy are suddenly hard – and far harder than they should be.
I feel old but this isn’t aging this is illness and it sucks.
