One reason I’m feeling very ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop’ is because of my usual crisis reaction.
If something bad is happening I never (or almost never) react in the moment. Upset isn’t useful so I push it to one side and it happens later when I can deal with it.
The problems I can see here are based around the fact that later is going to come a lot later. If I’m not processing in the moment fine, but is there coming a time when I am going to become suddenly non-functional as I become overwhelmed with all the feels I’m putting to one side now?
Or am I going to keep, every so often crying in the bath at the sheer ‘overwhelm’ of it all and is that going to be enough?