I listen to a lot of True Crime podcasts. I read a lot of True Crime too. I’m aware of patterns of behaviour of criminals, and to be fair the interesting ones are very similar to the boring ones they just tend to be smarter, more personable or luck into a blind spot in the justice system.
I’m almost certainly somewhere on the Austistic Spectrum (the Awesome Boss reckons ADHD) and so I look at situations with a certain amount of balance or at the very least separation from my own emotional involvement. Sometimes I end up describing that rationality as a super power.
A couple of years ago a woman wanted to make safe spaces at a fest LARP and cited her own experiences with an abuser as why, if she went to each offered space individually, she could tell if they were really safe or not.
I think I was the first person to say that she could be as insightful as she liked but that she could not categorically state she would spot every abuser on that field. I was pretty proud of my insight and how I expressed it.
It’s always as well to remind myself that that applies to me as well as everyone else. There are always going to be people who you don’t spot. No matter how much I read, no matter how many domestic violence situations I’ve been exposed to and no matter what superpowers I think I have, I’m always going to miss someone.
This could be a negative entry, but to be honest it’s a good thing to remind myself of. Take a step back, tell myself what I see and then ask other people if they agree.