I have spent large sections of my life hypothetically wondering whether I could stand up for my pacifism in situations that could lead to my demise. Like Quakers in Warzones do or like my Great Uncle during World War Two.
I had never thought I might actually have to and yet this is rather closer than I expected. I had also not fully realised how strong my desire to go would be. Like I have literally had to sit myself down and point out I’m chronically ill, I have no medical training and my first aid isn’t even up to date. I am in no position to head East and actually help. Be a liability sure, that I could do.
I suspect next week I’m going to need to work out how to actually help within my limited capacity. I’d really like to believe that between now and then the war will be over but there’s a sinking pit in my stomach that doesn’t believe that.