Last year I wondered if I actually was Greyromantic, I was caught up in I think one of the most intense romances of my life. I do love regularly, I love widely, apparently I can love a lot deeper than I thought, but romance? Romance varies from partner to partner, a take out and chips, a midnight visit to Asda, a heartfelt love letter, they’re all romantic just in very different ways.
The thing about greyromantic as an orientation is it’s about knowing that you only sometimes fall in love, and whilst I love widely, falling in love is rarely, falling in love deeply like last year requires so many things to be just so that it doesn’t often happen. For one thing I have to be wanted and reassured that I’m wanted and loved and not just because I happen to make someone feel good. I make a lot of people feel good, I’m not unhappy with it as a talent but it is situation normal for me. To be connected with in a way that I feel, that’s rare, and rarer still for it to be a mutual act. I do a lot of casual, I do a lot of friendship sex and I do a lot of chasing. To be welcomed, to be wanted, to be loved like that and to properly feel it. That doesn’t happen, it is entirely possible that it won’t happen again.
I think I’m usually set to the dial of mild and everything has to be set just perfectly to come out another way. At least I’m pretty sure I got the label grey romantic right though. I kind of wish I was faster though, that things didn’t take so long for me to get there.
