The pandemic was a strange time, I made a lot of friends all over the place. I like to make friends, it’s a distinct advantage to being me. The disadvantage or one of them is the godsdamned insomnia and nightmares when I’m trying to work through my shit.
Work has provided me with a quite place and a long drive so there’s that. I think there’s a bit more of the Swamp around than I care to admit at the moment. It’s difficult to tell though because I have a lot of physical fatigue symptoms which essentially mimic the not being able to get out of bed side of Depression. COVID has done a number on me this week, again, some more.
Insomnia is a pain in the arse and nightmares are pretty bad, but it’s the nightmares about nice things that are the worst. I’m struggling, I keep going and keep going and then I’m in the wrong place at the wrong time or I make a stupid decision and I’m pulled down again, it’s really quite difficult for all my friends and the lovely bits to keep me going. But I am, just, this is beginnnning to be a bit much for me.
I saw really pretty things in Cambridge and had good tiramisu though and sushi, it’s February so there needed to be sushi. I need less rest and more sleep though.
