Rejection Sensitivity is one of those things that I’ve always kind of assumed I don’t have. I certainly don’t get sensitive to everyday rejections, or rather things that other people seem to perceive as rejection but that I don’t. I think that’s the key point here really I don’t assume I’m being rejected right up until someone explicitly tells me that I am.
Then I don’t react well, I just shut down rather than try to talk or work out what’s happening. I think if I was more sensitive to rejection before I got up to the no going back zone then maybe I’d be better placed to talk about it.
I think that’s a real problem, my shut down response in the face of rejection. My over awareness of the fact that I’ve missed whatever the lead up was or perhaps this is rejection sensitivity and if I was more capable of empathy? Recognition of genuine reactions? I’m not sure, but I’m certain that talking and understanding used to be something I was good at. Or perhaps I just never recognised any emotional rejection?
I don’t know exactly what I’m trying to write here. Only that I’m sure I used to be better about talking through things and lately it doesn’t take much to completely shut me down. I think that part of that is an over reaction to rejection or perceived rejection.
I get some many compliments about putting my all into relationships and maintaining relationships but that should come with a willingness to talk and build and converse in the face of negativity and I just close right down. I don’t know what’s happened with that, I’m not sure how to get beyond that.