Baking is something I really enjoy but tonight im absolutely doing it in order to displace nerves. This weekend will be the first time I’ve seen my Welsh partners since we broke up. I’ve never done a long distance break up before and I have no idea how to do this. I suspect in actuality … Read More
I just got off FaceTime to my Mum in which I did a reasonable impersonation of snorting cocaine slightly to the side of the screen. This is obviously because today I got a prescription for Lisdexamfetamine and the doctor had to give me a briefing about not taking illegal drugs or alcohol with it. I … Read More
I’ve been thinking about asking the psychiatrist tomorrow about what an autistic shutdown looks like. It’s because when I’ve been reading about mental breaks they’ve been talking about immense emotional symptoms whereas I just went to bed and dissociated wildly. However that’s me not recognising my own emotions really, there was a break within my … Read More
Today DS Luke sent the WOW Addict to talk to me about the new poly relationship she finds herself in because I’ve been poly for over twenty years at this point… I don’t think I’ve ever felt like a bigger hypocrite. Yeah sure I’m great at poly if we ignore last November when I had … Read More
I think that the same confidence I had when I took my first massage class is growing with each diploma that I complete. I do know how to touch people. Finished an in person weekend in Glasgow and doing the skincare part – so the facial and scalp massage was great fun. I do wonder … Read More
(Content Warning – discussion of suicidal ideation, remember the Samaritans are always there for you 116 123) Usually when I stay in Glasgow I end up at the Leonardo on a last minute offer because it’s pretty much unused over a weekend. This weekend that has not happened and I went for the cheapest option … Read More
(Content warning – yet more mental health navel gazing, mention of roleplaying sexual assault) Dissociation is something that in reflection I’ve always been trying to avoid, things that ground me are things that I enjoy doing and they’re largely physical. I’ve always struggled not to paint with my fingers and to wear gloves when I’m … Read More
Aside from the closest I’ve come to a period of Depression this year (more like serious emotional dysregulation to be honest) I have drawn a tarot card daily. Last year when I was in Glastonbury with the Blue Cat and Tarot Pupil I picked up a deck called The Witches Wisdom deck and rather fell … Read More
When I started work for Hijinks I began to see how mental and physical health intersected. I got a really good primer for how to operate when my chronic fatigue meant I had to stay in bed and do all the things my body would associate with Depression. In all honesty I’m just constantly picking … Read More
I dissociate, I dissociate a lot and when I get stressed I dissociate even more. It’s a real problem and it got a lot worse over the pandemic. Ok, it’s not a problem when I go to the dentist, at the dentist it’s actually massively useful because then I don’t freak out about the horrible … Read More
