Breathing to now, it’s a technique from therapy, you keep your eyes on a specific place and you breathe, box breathing. I did it in a park in the rain today. The reason you’re supposed do the exercise is to synch you up with what’s actually happening, the premise was you’re supposed to be able … Read More
The pandemic was a strange time, I made a lot of friends all over the place. I like to make friends, it’s a distinct advantage to being me. The disadvantage or one of them is the godsdamned insomnia and nightmares when I’m trying to work through my shit. Work has provided me with a quite … Read More
(Content warning – a lot of mental health stuff) I found it. Far too late. But I did find it. I’ve been looking for patterns as part of therapy. I knew there was one left, there’s probably more but I knew there was a really important one, I just couldn’t see it properly. I think … Read More
(Content Warning – discussion of my own suicidal ideation though not in an immediate sense, thoughts about Death) Apparently more people still read this blog than I thought – hi Archie! And I mean still, we’re talking twenty years of this thing come October. Archie is my longest subscriber. It’s reasonably well known that I … Read More
Thé body feels everything, I can’t work out if it’s social expectation that has me locating my emotions so viscerally or if genuinely the emotions live in specific areas of the body. Obviously I’ve had covid so I’m very tired and flat out with that but also I’m very sad this week. I think the … Read More
Today I’m about to go into a game of dungeons and dragons (as the game-master). The players are probably going to be asking about the Halfling trickster god who last year I decided to describe as The Racconteur. I’ve done that before, memorialised people in games. Somewhere in an Unknown Armies Chicago there are giant … Read More
(Content Warning – Talking about Transphobia, Bigotry, Hate Crime, Violence, Murder) When Sophie Lancaster was murdered I felt sick. I felt like she was punished somehow for society deeming it unacceptable to beat up the QUILTBAG and people who weren’t white or practiced different religions. As if hatred and anger cares about respectability. It felt … Read More
I am so not a Nordic LARPer. I mean, yeah ok anyone who’s played with me is going ‘yes Mish, this is correct’ but turns out I can’t even get my terms right.I’ve been using bleed to mean after-effects, emotions you’re still feeling the Monday after Time Out, because honestly when I was introduced to … Read More
(Content Warning – I’m being hellishly frank about my mental state in this entry. I’m talking about all that good stuff, mental health, including specific diagnoses, I doubt there’s spoiler for Giovanni: Children of the Black Sun, but no promises. Oh yeah and rape/non-consent and suicide warnings because this is me) I have to admit, … Read More
(Content Warning – may contain spoilers for the game, Giovanni: Children of the Black Sun, mentions violence, suicide, rape, mental health issues, things I thought were hot when I was a teenager) Forever ago during the pandemic Cairns in Texas posted a link to a game she wished she could get to, a vampire game, … Read More
