I love Yuletide, I just absolutely love it, all the things to share with people and make joyful in the middle of the cold. Last year I just couldn’t connect with it, I don’t think I’d quite realised that I was heavily dissociated from everything this time last year, I just knew I was sad … Read More
I was driving along a particular junction in Lancaster today and I suddenly really wanted to go drink a beer in one of the skankiest pubs I’ve ever been to. It was a canal boat permanently moored up and reachable through basically a field and muddy footpath. The only reason I ever went to the … Read More
(Content Warning: This is a full and frank description of my latest sex toy purchase. If it makes you uncomfortable to read about me masturbating then please don’t read on.) The same friend as suggested I buy a knock-off womaniser had me spend money on a vibrator that’s normally over a hundred quid. I am … Read More
I always want to spell his name with a v or not enough fs. I only just discovered Kirill Gerstein as a pianist and he’s got some really solid opinions on Rachmaninoff which I don’t have the ears to properly understand if we’re quite honest, but I like the way he plays him. I wonder … Read More
(Content Warning: Mentions my own suicidal ideation and preferred method) Turns out you probably can be Depressed without being suicidal. I guess that’s something of a learning curve. I haven’t been suicidal in a really long time, like I think over a year. I don’t think I’d properly absorbed that. I’m suicidal again, I don’t … Read More
I’m managing to have more fun when it comes to Sigehold socials and social Empire roleplay but they are absolutely the thing that has written large to my psyche quite how disconnected I was feeling. The wild disassociation of a mental break is like nothing I’ve experienced previously but negotiating what part of my psyche … Read More
Turns out that if I am told that wings are served with ghost pepper hot sauce then I’ll avoid them, if I am tempted to a pub by FJ and tennis who then provides me with hot wings and I don’t find out what pepper is in then until I’m half way in… well then … Read More
Today I had a very surreal experience. I was at work and I suddenly came over wanting to cry but obviously couldn’t so I tried to concentrate on work and felt like I’d divided myself in two and one of me was screaming in a tiny room. It was so real, it was like I … Read More
I laughed at some of the memes. A lot of the memes to be honest. This from someone who was so horrified by her reaction to Maggie Thatcher’s death that I donated to Shelter. I guess I did recognise that I was dehumanising/othering people who happen to be a magnitude of wealthy that is completely … Read More
One of the earliest memories I have of my Great Uncle Arthur is of him telling me that I shouldn’t use “Real” as an intensifier as it was an Americanisation and I should use “really”, I may have rolled my eyes at him, obviously I wanted to use ‘real’ because it made me sound American … Read More
