I mean knew what? Funnily enough I remember thinking deeply (for my age at the time not in comparison with deep adult thoughts) about gender but sexuality didn’t make an appearance for a while. I remember wondering what made a boy a boy and a girl a girl mostly because I did not like wearing … Read More
I am honestly not sure I had any experiences a a child foreshadowing my sexuality. Or nothing as obvious as you see on TV at any rate. I do remember getting angry with Dad over a Saturday lunch about him equating gay men and paedophiles, or at any rate him agreeing with the radio news … Read More
I suppose if I wanted to be very boring then I would say that I am bisexual and a girl. But that wouldn’t give you much to read would it? There was a girl I sat next to in French when I was at secondary school and I fancied the pants off her. later I … Read More
(Contains spoilers to The Machine movie and comedy routine) Sorry, I mistyped that title – THE MACHIIIIINE!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, if you were a certain sort of person in 2016 you died laughing to this sketch on Youtube. I was not certain that I was the sort of person that was supposed to find this funny, but … Read More
(Content Warning – description of seeing a suicide attempt. A lot of rambling and a lot of Mental health stuff) About six months ago I saw a girl in school uniform hanging from barbed wire under a bridge. And it totally wrecked me. I’ve been doing a lot of therapy. I’ve been doing a lot … Read More
I think some of my nicest memories are those of my Japanese Mothers telling me how I was supposed to look after my skin. The idea that cleanse, tone, moisturise wasn’t a proper skincare routine (it was still more than Skimble did) and should be at the very least enhanced by regular facials was definitely … Read More
Today was another hospital day to follow up on my having testosterone doing weird things and too much cortisol in my system. To follow up I have to pee into a bucket for twenty fours again as they think that my cortisol should be going down. In other words they were worried I might have … Read More
Fucking hell. I, and – fuck it I can’t be the only one – a whole chunk of my generation, have had some bad luck when it comes to children’s tv presenters. Jimmy Saville was just too fucked up for words but at least it was – in hindsight for those of us viewers who … Read More
Today I’m exhausted and in pain. Dancing on Saturday was great but oh I’m still paying for it in codeine. I’ve been doing trauma work for about six months now and it I dunno ramped up a notch? This last week. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted as well as physically. Honestly I’ve been making progress … Read More
(Content Warning: Mental Health stuff including mentioning suicidal ideation) I have been Depressed pretty much as long as I can remember, I have a name for it even, The Swamp. Maybe the stuff pre seven years old wasn’t Depression per se but some of those thoughts are at the very least concerning with hindsight. This … Read More
