(Content warning – a lot of mental health stuff) I found it. Far too late. But I did find it. I’ve been looking for patterns as part of therapy. I knew there was one left, there’s probably more but I knew there was a really important one, I just couldn’t see it properly. I think … Read More
(Content Warning – discussion of my own suicidal ideation though not in an immediate sense, thoughts about Death) Apparently more people still read this blog than I thought – hi Archie! And I mean still, we’re talking twenty years of this thing come October. Archie is my longest subscriber. It’s reasonably well known that I … Read More
Thé body feels everything, I can’t work out if it’s social expectation that has me locating my emotions so viscerally or if genuinely the emotions live in specific areas of the body. Obviously I’ve had covid so I’m very tired and flat out with that but also I’m very sad this week. I think the … Read More
I am so not a Nordic LARPer. I mean, yeah ok anyone who’s played with me is going ‘yes Mish, this is correct’ but turns out I can’t even get my terms right.I’ve been using bleed to mean after-effects, emotions you’re still feeling the Monday after Time Out, because honestly when I was introduced to … Read More
(Content Warning – I’m being hellishly frank about my mental state in this entry. I’m talking about all that good stuff, mental health, including specific diagnoses, I doubt there’s spoiler for Giovanni: Children of the Black Sun, but no promises. Oh yeah and rape/non-consent and suicide warnings because this is me) I have to admit, … Read More
I went to see a musical for the first time in aaaaaaages. At a proper London theatre no less. It was fantastically staged – the queue led to the back of the theatre and it had been made up to look like the entry to a dodgy club – The Kit-Kat Club. We walked in … Read More
Spent last night in a bar encouraging certain roleplayers to abuse me in character, most of whom I had never met before. I was feeling very confident last night, apparently GermanLu talking about my vagina in a cocktail bar to total strangers feels weirdly like home. Sometimes I do become aware that I am a … Read More
I am in my happy place, one of them anyway, one that is a state of mind that I haven’t been in for a long time. I’m in a bar, surrounded by people who I know and I have had several conversations tonight about roleplay, talked tech with a guy and drunk a couple of … Read More
If I ever make it as an author it’s going to be because I drive a lot, all my best ideas come whilst driving. I’m not entirely sure that makes me safe on a motorway but I’m going to hope so. Possibly I’m too introspective or maybe this is going to be how I make … Read More
I admit that the massage diploma has cost an awful lot. I’m pretty poor right now (and The Jellicle is striking a lot this year) and the diploma is a chunk of change. To be fair it’s not the diploma itself that’s the problem it’s the driving and staying overnight that’s a bit much. However, … Read More
