Yesterday I went to see the doctor about getting a diagnosis sorted out. Ended up in a conversation about trauma and information processing. Turns out when I couldn’t work out why I was struggling to process the dance calls at The Printers Guild Ball and was wondering if it was the low lighting or something … Read More
I had forgotten how much of a physical feeling heartbreak is. The first time my heart was broken was just before Christmas, possibly even Christmas Eve, I had a secret boyfriend and I had to go up to the payphone the otherside of the village to call him and talk to him without my parents … Read More
(Content Warning: Attempted Suicide, Violence, gory description, mentions of my own problems with suicidal ideation) FJ and I sat down tonight and drank the last of my good whisky. I had about a triple I suspect. I haven’t needed a drink like that in a long time but tonight I really did. I need to … Read More
I have a boyfriend again. The concept of it is a bit, sort of confusing to me I guess. But it’s good, I’m sort of almost meditating on the idea of it and coming up with a level of contentment that I wouldn’t have expected a couple of years ago. The Fae Ref spent the … Read More
It’s complicated to try and divide how being Queer vs how societies perceptions of being queer affected my mental health. Because honestly, being attracted to other girls, in and of itself, hadn’t been a problem. The feelings surrounding trying to keep it hidden, those have fucked me up. I think on some levels they still … Read More
It’s pride month and although I have changed which prompts I’m using there’s always going to be a coming out story one. Despite the fact that I keep pointing out that I’ve come out a lot over the years, because whilst straight remains the assumption all of us who aren’t are going to have to … Read More
Ok I’m doing new prompts for this pride month. I did two years with the previous ones, and I’m starting with my favourite content creators. I’m not sure I like the term content creators by the way, I’m pretty sure artists covers all bases… but in anycase. Over on instagram I follow the Uncle Davids, … Read More
Love? Men? All of the above? (Content warning – serious navel gazing and I’m talking about my love life) Saying I didn’t do love when I was nineteen was a nice shorthand for ‘I’ve read the Ethical Slut’ (I hadn’t) and I want to sleep around without people getting pissed off or me cheating on … Read More
(Content warning – frank and casual mentions of rape) I described myself as nominally bisexual the other day. It occurred to me that if I’ve ever done that before it would have been in my twenties when I was struggling to get a girlfriend, or any interest from women and I couldn’t turn around for … Read More
I started explaining to M-i-L and FJ that the biggest lesson I had learnt over the weekend was not to have a first kiss whilst in character and they started laughing. I had actually forgotten that I reffed their first kiss… or at least I was a ref that weekend. I still maintain watching him … Read More
