I just got off FaceTime to my Mum in which I did a reasonable impersonation of snorting cocaine slightly to the side of the screen. This is obviously because today I got a prescription for Lisdexamfetamine and the doctor had to give me a briefing about not taking illegal drugs or alcohol with it. I … Read More
I’ve been thinking about asking the psychiatrist tomorrow about what an autistic shutdown looks like. It’s because when I’ve been reading about mental breaks they’ve been talking about immense emotional symptoms whereas I just went to bed and dissociated wildly. However that’s me not recognising my own emotions really, there was a break within my … Read More
(Content warning – yet more mental health navel gazing, mention of roleplaying sexual assault) Dissociation is something that in reflection I’ve always been trying to avoid, things that ground me are things that I enjoy doing and they’re largely physical. I’ve always struggled not to paint with my fingers and to wear gloves when I’m … Read More
When I started work for Hijinks I began to see how mental and physical health intersected. I got a really good primer for how to operate when my chronic fatigue meant I had to stay in bed and do all the things my body would associate with Depression. In all honesty I’m just constantly picking … Read More
(Content Warning – Mental Health naval gazing again, a bit of moaning) I am used to my memory being bad, as in, it’s humorous, Mish forgot this that or the other. Mish ended up here and she should have been there. I am used to thinking that the worst of a bad memory I have … Read More
(Content Warning – this is more me naval gazing about my own poor mental health, mentions suicide) The thing about the writing part of trauma informed therapy is that you end up going off into the things you need to examin to get past them. And mostly the stuff I’m trying to get through is … Read More
(Content Warning: More mental health stuff) It has been a standing joke for as long as I can remember that despite not being born Catholic I automatically feel guilty about everything. Some of this I put down to Anxiety… ok I’m easing off a bit on the ‘I have never had anxiety it was misdiagnosed … Read More
(Content warning – a whole lot of up myself naval gazing but then this is what you’ve had for weeks isn’t it? Mentions ASD and ADHD) There is a confidence that comes with diagnosis and talking to a professional who can explain what’s going on in your head. It matters what you tell yourself, and … Read More
Managed to park without issue in central Manchester today – yes it’s a ridiculous thing to be proud of but I am. For a bit over two weeks now my heart has hurt, I guess I wondered if it would show up on the reading; it didn’t because of course it’s psychological pain not physical. … Read More
I don’t know if it’s unregulated emotions or what but every so often this feeling that it’s all going to be alright absolutely washes over me. There’s no rhyme or reason to it just this sense that authenticity is the way, truth and love and all of it. I think this is what’s making me … Read More
