I am reaching the conclusion, gradually, that I find it easier to connect with my emotions, indeed I find it far easier to access my strongest emotions when multiple people are involved. Consider that when I got involved with the Jellicle Cat our most intense topic of conversation was Princess Lex who she was also … Read More
The way I understand the world is relational. I don’t think that’s a word. The way I understand what’s happening in the world around me is by understanding what context things are in. Something is seen only in relation to other things, relation to time, to space, to people. If someone asks a question like … Read More
There was an afternoon I spent in London with The Funniest, we were in a park somewhere eating ice creams. Earlier in the day I had made my discovery of the genius that is Reggae Reggae Sauce on bacon sandwiches. I can’t remember if it was just after The Jellicle had split with Princess Lex … Read More
Something strange happened at the weekend which I didn’t notice at the time. I asked someone how many partners they had, they said five serious and two play and I said whew that’s too many. The thing is, that didn’t used to be, for me I mean obviously. I’m not even talking pre-Jellicle when it … Read More
Today DS Luke sent the WOW Addict to talk to me about the new poly relationship she finds herself in because I’ve been poly for over twenty years at this point… I don’t think I’ve ever felt like a bigger hypocrite. Yeah sure I’m great at poly if we ignore last November when I had … Read More
(Content Warning mentions therapy and ASD, there’s a frank mention of sex at the end). I’ve written here before, about two or three years into my relationship with The Jellicle about the way I feel love most within a group of interconnected loves. M-i-L has been very grateful in the past that my way of … Read More
(Content Warning, some mention of real world emotional states) I LARP to cry. Specifically I LARP to properly sob, ideally crawling around spottily expelling deep sadness. I LARP to bleed. Not literally, I mean the Nordic term where you access your real emotions in order to further the scene. I guess I method LARP. Or, … Read More
Thé body feels everything, I can’t work out if it’s social expectation that has me locating my emotions so viscerally or if genuinely the emotions live in specific areas of the body. Obviously I’ve had covid so I’m very tired and flat out with that but also I’m very sad this week. I think the … Read More
The thing about emotions is they come across you in waves, and I do mean like the sea. There are the lapping waves that you can see coming and there’s a predictable regularity to them and then sometimes there’s a storm out deep at sea and it moves all the water around until the waves … Read More
2020 was a study in grief for me, an understanding of the sheer heaviness of it, the shaking emotion of it. Every day I had to remind myself in the morning that my father was dead, because I was terrified that I would forget and try to call him or have to relive the initial … Read More
