(Content Warning – talking about suicide, attempts, ideation the whole shebang, poor mental health and all that jazz) I think it was talking to Cornish Bloke soon after my Dad had passed, or possibly Tarot Pupil or The Fae Ref as we lost parents or parental figures that year within weeks of each other. In … Read More
(Content warning – descriptions of me being in pain and thinking about death, including parental death) So I had heart palpitations and a small increase in blood pressure (went from normal to pre high) following about a week on the Lisdexamfetamine and a glass of wine – although according to the doctor that didn’t actually … Read More
It’s kind of weird that I wrote about Pedro Rodrigues Filha and the latest facts I’d learned about him only days before his death. Or rather it seems that way to me because my sense of focus is upon myself. In anycase, I’d had him in the back of my mind because the idea that … Read More
Today I’m about to go into a game of dungeons and dragons (as the game-master). The players are probably going to be asking about the Halfling trickster god who last year I decided to describe as The Racconteur. I’ve done that before, memorialised people in games. Somewhere in an Unknown Armies Chicago there are giant … Read More
2020 was a study in grief for me, an understanding of the sheer heaviness of it, the shaking emotion of it. Every day I had to remind myself in the morning that my father was dead, because I was terrified that I would forget and try to call him or have to relive the initial … Read More
I just found out a man who, if I’d given any thought to over the past few years I would have assumed was dead, died today. Aged 99, I can imagine him being disappointed he didn’t make a century actually. https://www.caistorcitizen.co.uk/?p=10435&fbclid=IwAR0lCTgrnn-b3bpukB1D5ySy6xXyqTj8rm0YRq4nZKVENzYP1hQxcT7bdjU He was secretary at my school, well no actually, he’d retired by the time … Read More
Dame Vivienne Westwood died today. I suspect the fact that that matters to me is going to hit a bit weird for people who don’t know either about the fact I love Lolita fashion or her influence upon it. EGL is punk, hell all of Lolita is punk, it’s rebellion in a distinctly feminine form. … Read More
I’m at a bar in Lancaster, theres about twelve of us meeting up because all the WoW players have heard about this new FestLARP called Empire and we’re talking about setting up a group. There’s someone who isn’t there who is mentioned enough that it feels like there’s an empty chair near the bar. He’s … Read More
One of the things I’m doing these days is heading into a care home on the regular. Today I went in and there was a white haired old lady looking vague as she slowly walked along the landing. I stepped to one side to let her and her stick get past. Sometime later in my … Read More
I love The Princess but her attitude to death I find weird. It really bugged me her not wanting to talk about the serious bits after Dad died and how she actively flinched from his box of ashes. I’ve been thinking a lot about death this week because it’s been a year since Dad died. … Read More
