The pandemic was a strange time, I made a lot of friends all over the place. I like to make friends, it’s a distinct advantage to being me. The disadvantage or one of them is the godsdamned insomnia and nightmares when I’m trying to work through my shit. Work has provided me with a quite … Read More
(Content warning – a lot of mental health stuff) I found it. Far too late. But I did find it. I’ve been looking for patterns as part of therapy. I knew there was one left, there’s probably more but I knew there was a really important one, I just couldn’t see it properly. I think … Read More
(Content Warning – discussion of my own suicidal ideation though not in an immediate sense, thoughts about Death) Apparently more people still read this blog than I thought – hi Archie! And I mean still, we’re talking twenty years of this thing come October. Archie is my longest subscriber. It’s reasonably well known that I … Read More
Thé body feels everything, I can’t work out if it’s social expectation that has me locating my emotions so viscerally or if genuinely the emotions live in specific areas of the body. Obviously I’ve had covid so I’m very tired and flat out with that but also I’m very sad this week. I think the … Read More
Today I’m about to go into a game of dungeons and dragons (as the game-master). The players are probably going to be asking about the Halfling trickster god who last year I decided to describe as The Racconteur. I’ve done that before, memorialised people in games. Somewhere in an Unknown Armies Chicago there are giant … Read More
I am so not a Nordic LARPer. I mean, yeah ok anyone who’s played with me is going ‘yes Mish, this is correct’ but turns out I can’t even get my terms right.I’ve been using bleed to mean after-effects, emotions you’re still feeling the Monday after Time Out, because honestly when I was introduced to … Read More
(Content Warning – I’m being hellishly frank about my mental state in this entry. I’m talking about all that good stuff, mental health, including specific diagnoses, I doubt there’s spoiler for Giovanni: Children of the Black Sun, but no promises. Oh yeah and rape/non-consent and suicide warnings because this is me) I have to admit, … Read More
The thing about emotions is they come across you in waves, and I do mean like the sea. There are the lapping waves that you can see coming and there’s a predictable regularity to them and then sometimes there’s a storm out deep at sea and it moves all the water around until the waves … Read More
I’m one day into a three day vampire game and struck by the same thing I always forget when it comes to Vampire. Vampire is not a horror game, it has some of the set dressing, sometimes its pitch crosses over but at base it is a political game, not a horror game. I’m playing … Read More
I went to see a musical for the first time in aaaaaaages. At a proper London theatre no less. It was fantastically staged – the queue led to the back of the theatre and it had been made up to look like the entry to a dodgy club – The Kit-Kat Club. We walked in … Read More
