Spent the day with M-I-L playing puzzle games while FJ is in London. Gossip, decorative style and writing were the topics of the day. She is much better and more organised at writing research than I am, surprising no one I would guess. It was a good day. Then I drove home in the rain … Read More
Rejection Sensitivity is one of those things that I’ve always kind of assumed I don’t have. I certainly don’t get sensitive to everyday rejections, or rather things that other people seem to perceive as rejection but that I don’t. I think that’s the key point here really I don’t assume I’m being rejected right up … Read More
It’s a full moon tonight, or it might be tomorrow I’m not totally sure (yeah I know not great witching on my part) in any case it’s big and round enough as makes no odds. It looked spectacular and I viscerally missed the year I did full moon rituals in the grove. I might go … Read More
I have a horrific fascination with cults. Especially the sort of really dodgy ones with a personality st the centre persuading the members to do horrific things. Obviously I have a fascination with suicide cults – it’s not really my suicide ideation st play there though, it’s more about a fascination with what the human … Read More
Last week Beautiful Lute sent me a TikTok link which was a neuroscientist talking about rewriting your brain to appreciate tiny little joys. I’m not right at the moment mostly because I think working through trauma makes you miserable whilst you’re going through it and I seem to have so much just going on with … Read More
Beltane is one of those festivals that I feel like I struggle to connect with and yet, when I do it right I find it full of energy. Doing it right is of course making it about other people. Beltane and Samhain, I need to remember are mirrors of each other, they’re all about others, … Read More
I had promised myself that I would see meerkats today. There is a burst pipe so the meerkats (and other animals) are closed. I am really quite sad about this. I am therefore looking at previous meerkat pictures. Someone suggested that perhaps I was especially sad because I had LARPdrop. I said maybe but I … Read More
No nicknames used here, first names only. I’m maudlin at the drop of a hat at the best of times but the other week when I had the bad reaction to the Lisdexamfetamine I genuinely wondered if I was about to drop dead that second with nary a real warning or indication it was going … Read More
I actually felt some semblance of connection around the Sigehold campfire tonight. Which is pretty good considering I haven’t really been feeling that lately. It was just the trace of it but it was enough to enjoy for now I think. The fire was not especially warming against the cold but the stories were familiar … Read More
I struggle regularly, but especially when talking about this blog in real life, with explaining why this is on the internet. Why do I have a blog if not to in some way pose for my audience or perceived audience… and that is in some way true or at least I always thought it was. … Read More
