One day of the week I work in a very traditional workplace. I’m providing support so not doing the type of manual labour most of the people around me are. It’s very nice to be quite honest because I get to feel like I have colleagues and sit and chat to them in the mess … Read More
Been a while hasn’t it? How do I love? I’ve always described myself as loving widely not deeply. Eighteen years ago I said that I didn’t trust myself when I fell in love, that I couldn’t trust myself to think. I should read my old blog entries more often perhaps, or I’m claiming insight with … Read More
I just found out a man who, if I’d given any thought to over the past few years I would have assumed was dead, died today. Aged 99, I can imagine him being disappointed he didn’t make a century actually. https://www.caistorcitizen.co.uk/?p=10435&fbclid=IwAR0lCTgrnn-b3bpukB1D5ySy6xXyqTj8rm0YRq4nZKVENzYP1hQxcT7bdjU He was secretary at my school, well no actually, he’d retired by the time … Read More
I made a lot of promises at the solstice about living authentically because last year all the best things happened when I was as completely myself as I could be.
Dame Vivienne Westwood died today. I suspect the fact that that matters to me is going to hit a bit weird for people who don’t know either about the fact I love Lolita fashion or her influence upon it. EGL is punk, hell all of Lolita is punk, it’s rebellion in a distinctly feminine form. … Read More
Immediately after breaking up with The Fae Ref and Beautiful Lute I couldn’t cry. No surprise there, it felt like I’d been kicked in the chest and the rest of my body was a sponge of sadness. Eventually I cried. But the problem with being a grown-up and with breaking up just before Christmas is … Read More
This year was the year I started to really feel things. I did so much therapy last year, I really worked on things, so for all Reddit poly people can jump on my descriptions of my feelings towards The Fae Ref and Beautiful Lute and declare I’m an NRE addict, what remains is that this … Read More
I had forgotten how much of a physical feeling heartbreak is. The first time my heart was broken was just before Christmas, possibly even Christmas Eve, I had a secret boyfriend and I had to go up to the payphone the otherside of the village to call him and talk to him without my parents … Read More
I have a boyfriend again. The concept of it is a bit, sort of confusing to me I guess. But it’s good, I’m sort of almost meditating on the idea of it and coming up with a level of contentment that I wouldn’t have expected a couple of years ago. The Fae Ref spent the … Read More
(Content Warning: I’m talking about sex and specifics about my sex life) I think the word I want to describe my mood right now is probably jubilant. Jubilant definitely feels right and I’m almost certain it’s got a similar root as jubilee…nope I just checked and it’s similar sounding Latin that’s apparently confusing me. In … Read More
