(Content Warning – talking about suicide, attempts, ideation the whole shebang, poor mental health and all that jazz) I think it was talking to Cornish Bloke soon after my Dad had passed, or possibly Tarot Pupil or The Fae Ref as we lost parents or parental figures that year within weeks of each other. In … Read More
I’m very excited about my middle nephew’s birthday party on Friday. It’s dinosaur and monster truck themed and I bought myself a dinosaur dress. I went for a skater dress rather than a faux fifties thing. I need to be able to move for a four year old’s birthday and not have my petticoats at … Read More
Honestly it’s my reactions to CodeKitty and The Funniest that are so godsdamned weird. Running around with my lovers creating art and writing. That’s what I did, that’s what I was aiming for. And then suddenly it’s too much? I felt so attractive last year, I was really feeling driving to visit my lovers and … Read More
(Content warning – descriptions of me being in pain and thinking about death, including parental death) So I had heart palpitations and a small increase in blood pressure (went from normal to pre high) following about a week on the Lisdexamfetamine and a glass of wine – although according to the doctor that didn’t actually … Read More
I like the idea of the anglo-Saxons, that April as a whole is Eostre month. I am out of the habit of my pagan celebrations and I’m really not feeling up to it in anycase. So bits and pieces here and there is my answer, across the whole month. The new meds are wiping me … Read More
When I’m stressed I lose track of time, I don’t mean like I’m late I mean I get floaty and it takes me a good couple of minutes to remember when, where and what year this is. The thing is I also lose track of information, to a much greater degree than I had realised … Read More
I think I might be Depressed. But that doesn’t feel right to be honest, I feel somehow dissociated from my own self. None of this feels like The Swamp, I’ve been managed my own Depression pretty well and this doesn’t feel right. My willpower is pretty shot right now, I know that I have excess … Read More
My sense of time is… to be honest I’m not sure I really have one. I don’t mean the way I’m often late to things but that I can’t tell sometimes when or how things happen, like I need to really think in order to anchor myself in the timing on any given thing. I … Read More
Something strange happened at the weekend which I didn’t notice at the time. I asked someone how many partners they had, they said five serious and two play and I said whew that’s too many. The thing is, that didn’t used to be, for me I mean obviously. I’m not even talking pre-Jellicle when it … Read More
DS Luke convinced me to head out to the D&D movie. I treated myself to a full on self-date including VIP seating in the cinema, I even wore a nice dress and did my makeup. It was fun and I think it’s the first time since my birthday that I’ve dressed myself up and gone … Read More
