(Content Warning: Mentions my own suicidal ideation and preferred method) Turns out you probably can be Depressed without being suicidal. I guess that’s something of a learning curve. I haven’t been suicidal in a really long time, like I think over a year. I don’t think I’d properly absorbed that. I’m suicidal again, I don’t … Read More
(Content Warning – description of seeing a suicide attempt. A lot of rambling and a lot of Mental health stuff) About six months ago I saw a girl in school uniform hanging from barbed wire under a bridge. And it totally wrecked me. I’ve been doing a lot of therapy. I’ve been doing a lot … Read More
(Content Warning – this discusses my personal history of suicide ideation – I am frank about being suicidal as a teenager. Don’t worry I am not actively suicidal right now) I have been suicidal for the vast majority of my life. Most of my adult life has been about managing that desire/urge/background assumption. I don’t … Read More
I have a horrific fascination with cults. Especially the sort of really dodgy ones with a personality st the centre persuading the members to do horrific things. Obviously I have a fascination with suicide cults – it’s not really my suicide ideation st play there though, it’s more about a fascination with what the human … Read More
I am sad and happy by turns, I don’t know if this feeling of constant churn that I’ve had for the past five months is emotional normal for post mental break recovery or not so much. A lot of what I’m having trouble with is the positive emotions caused by the pre-break up relationship that … Read More
(Content warning – descriptions of me being in pain and thinking about death, including parental death) So I had heart palpitations and a small increase in blood pressure (went from normal to pre high) following about a week on the Lisdexamfetamine and a glass of wine – although according to the doctor that didn’t actually … Read More
My sense of time is… to be honest I’m not sure I really have one. I don’t mean the way I’m often late to things but that I can’t tell sometimes when or how things happen, like I need to really think in order to anchor myself in the timing on any given thing. I … Read More
(Content Warning – discussion of suicidal ideation, remember the Samaritans are always there for you 116 123) Usually when I stay in Glasgow I end up at the Leonardo on a last minute offer because it’s pretty much unused over a weekend. This weekend that has not happened and I went for the cheapest option … Read More
(Content Warning – talking about mental health and self diagnosis, specifically mentioning ADHD, ASD, CPTSD, Depression also referencing suicide ideation) I keep seeing pro-self-diagnosis and vehemently anti self diagnosis things up on Facebook, Twitter and TikTok, hell The Comic Satyr even referenced me in their tweet about it. Originally I was very pro-self-diagnosis because there’s … Read More
(Content Warning – discussion of my own suicidal ideation though not in an immediate sense, thoughts about Death) Apparently more people still read this blog than I thought – hi Archie! And I mean still, we’re talking twenty years of this thing come October. Archie is my longest subscriber. It’s reasonably well known that I … Read More
