What happened this weekend? I travelled to Devon and I hung out with a lot of people I’ve never met before in a large house. And I hugged as many of them as were happy to. What it’s really reiterated to me is that I am a massively tactile person and a lot of touch … Read More
In two weeks I will complete my current run of therapy. It’s been a bit of a trip, working through and processing old trauma right in the middle of new trauma. Trying to remain present when all this is happening around me is really hard and my coping mechanisms have gotten really unhealthy. On the … Read More
Tonight DS Luke came over for dinner. There was a risk assessment beforehand, and he did an LFT, but The Jellicle and Imp agreed it was probably less risky than… well the entirety of my job. I made lasagne, a tricolore that wasn’t perfectly achieved, three types of cheese, yoghurt in the béchamel and my … Read More
A difference between LARP and real life, in LARP you can’t wait to get out the awesome tragic backstory that you wrote and entice people into crying with you. In real life the feeling of the conversation is more akin to being sick. Like, oh now I have to tell this cool person I’m actually … Read More
Everything is exceptionally hard at the moment. For everyone obviously, but this is my damned blog so I’m going to write about me. All that adrenaline that I was operating on last year is just stopping me in my tracks, like, not the heaviness of grief but something akin to the swampiness of depression. My … Read More
I am feeling very done with things today. I’m fed up of The Jellicle being in isolation over at Imp’s house and I feel like job wise the pandemic has just caused everything to slide backwards. I don’t really mean for me I mean for the vulnerable people I work with. However I also mean … Read More
I can tell I missed my anxiety meds this morning, I am plagued by thoughts dancing around telling me what a disappointment I was to my Dad. I think that coming up to this first anniversary we are all going to find things hard. I wish I’d been well when he died, I wish I … Read More
I was talking with my Mum about the effects of the word social distancing dynamics on The Smol Dragon today. This conversation kicked off because The Bonsai Kaiju told The Princess he was very sad they couldn’t go to other people’s houses due to the nasty germs. The Princess and Britney were pretty much – … Read More
Here I am still going out and working in Tier 3 with a vulnerable adult who is getting more vulnerable (absolutely due to lack of stimulation caused by lockdown). I’m basically betting on my O-negative blood beating out my dodgy immune system and sucky lungs. I’m not as nervous as I was back when no … Read More
So, I’m at the point where this has become Hard. As in I actively do not want to do this anymore. I want to hug my friends. I want to call up a lover and fuck. I want to have a party where we are all jam packed into a garden. Obviously I’m not going … Read More
