Today I’m exhausted and in pain. Dancing on Saturday was great but oh I’m still paying for it in codeine. I’ve been doing trauma work for about six months now and it I dunno ramped up a notch? This last week. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted as well as physically. Honestly I’ve been making progress … Read More
Last week Beautiful Lute sent me a TikTok link which was a neuroscientist talking about rewriting your brain to appreciate tiny little joys. I’m not right at the moment mostly because I think working through trauma makes you miserable whilst you’re going through it and I seem to have so much just going on with … Read More
(Content Warning – Mental Health naval gazing again, a bit of moaning) I am used to my memory being bad, as in, it’s humorous, Mish forgot this that or the other. Mish ended up here and she should have been there. I am used to thinking that the worst of a bad memory I have … Read More
There was a book by Emma Frost that I read and it stayed with me in that way that some books do. I’ve blogged about it before. Because that book very much effected my views on getting stuck in the conventions of relationships. Relationships that impress me remain those that are wide eyed and self-knowing. … Read More
Trauma informed therapy is a bit different to previous therapy I’ve done, it’s very focused. I like it and I hate it, which is why I suppose I become a fan of therapy every so often.I have previously described it as being like taking all your clothes off but frankly I do that a lot, … Read More
Been a while hasn’t it? How do I love? I’ve always described myself as loving widely not deeply. Eighteen years ago I said that I didn’t trust myself when I fell in love, that I couldn’t trust myself to think. I should read my old blog entries more often perhaps, or I’m claiming insight with … Read More
This year was the year I started to really feel things. I did so much therapy last year, I really worked on things, so for all Reddit poly people can jump on my descriptions of my feelings towards The Fae Ref and Beautiful Lute and declare I’m an NRE addict, what remains is that this … Read More
(Content Warning: I’m going to talk pretty frankly and at least mention rape, domestic violence and similar things, some in relation to myself. The Youtube link absolutely has dodgy lyrics, though I find the lyrics of ‘Rape Me’ less offensive than those of ‘Blurred Lines’ to be honest.) This is reaction, this is emotional, I … Read More
CW: Mentions of assault, personal trauma, suicidal ideation and men being awful. It’s a bit of a vent to be honest. I am simultaneously very good at reading people and very good at not seeing obvious things. One of the podcasts I listen to (which I really hope is not run by a TERF but … Read More
